“Pass the salt.”

“Wha-a?”

“I said, pass the salt. I can’t eat this crap without it.”

“SO picky. How did you even survive the Upheaval?”

“Very funny. You know that I carried your sorry carcass out of the gates of hell and into this even worse version of a world.”

“Tsk. You’d think one would be more grateful to have survived the apocalypse and all.”

“Yeah, it’s a friggin’ joy to be here with you, with nothin’ to do but banter all day, eatin’ this miserable muck they pass off as food.”

“C’mon. With like a million different insect species to choose from, you’d think at least a couple would be palatable to you. Try the green one, it’s sort of zesty. No? The red one has a sweet tangy flavor.”

“Bollocks. They all taste like cat piss on soggy toast. I don’t care how much they grind it up or what package they put it in, it’s all rank to me. Rather starve than live like this for the duration.”

“I dunno, I kinda like the name they gave it, Civilization Crumbles® – sorta ironic with a cool double meaning to it. Makes the stuff taste better to me.”

“Sigh. Just like the old days. ‘New Improved Packaging’ but the same old product inside. After everything that’s happened, how can people be so gullible?”

“Well, you’re inflexible, I’ll give you that. And obstinate, and pigheaded too. It’s probably why you’re still here, you know? Too stubborn to die with the rest of them. But hey, I love you for it. Sort of.”

“Yeah, yeah, right back atcha. Now pass the salt please. . .”

—

NOTE: From 2016, which I recall pundits then saying was the worst year on record (little did they know what would follow…) — a little ‘flash fiction’ banter piece just to break the tension (if there is any; if not then maybe it will create some). Yuck.